Andrew
-: Come one, come all and see how easy it is to ruin paradise with customer service seemingly designed to ensure you would love nothing more than the sea to rise and destroy the whole place. We start at check-in, where they’ll lose your reservation then make you spend 2 hours on the phone to booking.com representatives. You’ve been hired as the middle person as they couldn’t possibly just speak to each other directly as the reservation department is helpfully not on site but apparently headquartered in the legion of doom. The legion clearly has an effective union though as they clock off bang on time even before confirming you have a bed for the night. The beleaguered hotel staff with then allow you to stay for at least one night as long as you pay a hold of $300. While one of you succumbs to this in order to get some sleep, another member of staff will also try and “donate” your bags to another family arriving so ensure you have a lookout. Upon arriving at your room, a good 20 minute walk from the lobby you’ll find out that instead of a room key you’ve been provided with two towel cards. So at least you have something to sleep on. Once in your room you’ll think that a good bit of room service food may rescue the day before you sleep. This is supposedly a 5 star hotel so they must be able to rustle up something decent to fill the belly. A limited essentially childrens menu of chicken nuggets and chips or pizza doesn’t encourage, but upon arrival you realise it’s Iceland’s microwave meal finest. So you go to bed frustrated but knowing that the sun will come out tomorrow.And this is where the fun begins.Every decision you make is incredibly hard work, outrageously frustrating or a combination of both that makes you want to plunge your head into the sea never to raise it again. Breakfast? A disgusting fly infested mass produced dirge buffet. Lunch? Whatever’s left over from breakfast buffet with extra birds to attack you. Drinks by the pool?
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